in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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