I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
