Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
