woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
