I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
