If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
4 words: hood of his car
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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