laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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