Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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