i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
