apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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