Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
