these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
