i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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