i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
True but thats because hes a fetus.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
now i know why i became what i already was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
