Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
