He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
