guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
