One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.