I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!