Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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