No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.