I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish I only lived at night.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.