we're blogging at a bar
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
