Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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