Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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