I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
