Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
