I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize