But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize