evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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