remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize