so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
