the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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