fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Congratulations! We have a period
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
