I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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