OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
