google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
