And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
