I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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