btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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