Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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