even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
