Will you blow on my dice?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
