Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
