her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
