she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
