I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
