i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
