I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
