no, he came in my armpit
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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