i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
