You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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