walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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