she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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