Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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