What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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