I heard we made out
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
