His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
