You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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