we have pet lesbian snakes
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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