If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
