There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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