I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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