I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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