What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
