I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize