I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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