conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
