that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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