i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize