the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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