If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
