If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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