oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
