what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
