I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
