I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
