What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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